Dan Vs. Wiki
The Ninja
Season 1, Episode 4
Air date January 15, 2011
Written by Dan Mandel and Chris Pearson
Directed by Bill Kopp
Episode guide
"The Dentist"
"The Animal Shelter"

"Ahh, the sweet taste of revenge... And chocolate chips!"

– Dan, eating his cookies.

"The Ninja" is the fourth episode of the first season of Dan Vs. It is the fourth episode overall.

It premiered on January 15, 2011


When a Ninja steals Dan's milk and cookies, he sets out to get his revenge, with Elise as an unlikely ally.


Dan uncovers a ninja vendetta after his cookies are stolen by a ninja.

After the ninja stole Dan's cookies, he realized Elise was in the same town and began hunting her. When Dan told them that he had been attacked by a ninja, Elise at first didn't believe him, until he showed her the shuriken the ninja had thrown at him.

Elise explained that the reason that the ninja had stolen Dan's cookies was because the ninjas had taken an oath to never make sweets of their own.

Believing that the ninja would go after Dan to get to Elise, they disguised Chris as Dan because they felt that he would have a better chance of surviving than Dan if poisoned. Chris was later tranquilized, and later that day, the ninja challenged Elise to a duel: if Elise won, he would leave them alone. If Elise lost, he would kill her and go after Dan next. Elise went to fight the ninja and Dan followed her and helped her to defeat him. The ninja surrendered, and explained to them that his entire ninja clan was wiped out in a bus accident.

Dan forced the ninja to make him cookies, and doing so made the ninja (named Dave) give up being a ninja and open a cookie shop named Ninja Dave's Cookies.


  • This is one of the few times where Elise and Dan are on friendlier terms than normal. Agreeing with each other and going against Chris together is several arguments.
  • The photo on the milk carton resembles BMO's face from Adventure Time.
  • Dan claims carrying a sword is under the second amendment in the constitution.

Revelations and Continuity[]

  • It's revealed Dan is lactose intolerant, as he is carrying lactose free milk with his cookies.
  • This episode marks the first appearance of Ninja Dave and his cookie shop, which becomes a frequent hang-out for Dan, Chris, and Elise in the series.
  • Dan tells Chris he shouldn't have gotten married and proceeds to have a full blown conversation about it off-screen.
  • Chris mentions his tomato garden, he was previously seen tending to a tomato plant in "The Wolf-Man".
  • Before the events of this episode (and the series as a whole), when Elise was fourteen, she previously lived in Japan where she ran into conflicts with The Koshugi Clan.
  • This episode is the closest Chris will get to having information about Elise's secret life explained to him.
  • When Chris goes back to making the pancakes after Elise leaves, the stovetop is empty and the pancakes, nor a frying pan is present.


  • When Chris dresses up as Dan, he can be seen with a fake soul patch similar to Dan's, but it disappears briefly after stepping out of the dressing room and returns soon after.




  • Dave's Shuriken (debut)



"I was attacked by a ninja last night. Make me some pancakes"

– Dan, casually mentioning his ninja problem in conversation.

"But how do you know it was a-"

"He was in pajamas."

"I'm in pajamas. Does that make me a ninja?"

"Not feety pajamas! NINJA pajamas! Plus, I didn't seem him! Ergo, ninja."

– Chris and Dan, Dan's slightly flawed logic.

"What's not cool is that you're trying to confound me with your stupid logic, when what I need is help with a problem!"

– Dan, he don't need no logic.

"Did you notice anything strange right there?"

"You mean that I still have no pancakes in front of me?"

– Chris and Dan, after Elise goes security mode.

"And another reason you shouldn't have gotten married-"

"Can we just drop it?"

"No, this needs to be said, your pancakes have suffered."

– Dan and Chris, the pancakes have suffered.

"Kill me?! Over my dead body!"

– Dan, after being informed the ninja will likely kill him.

"Well, it was a long time ago, it's a long, long story and... I don't want to talk about it."

– Elise, when Chris wants answers from her.

"Hey! I'm Dan... and I'm... Angry! Very angry!"

– Chris, in a convincing disguise as Dan.

"He's doing it wrong! I am much more suave, debonair, and sophisticated than that!"

"Yes, Dan, that's a very debonair stain you have on your shirt."

– Dan and Elise, Dan is unhappy with Chris' cosplay.

"Flying monkeys? This time of year? Someone! Call the zoo!! Why must your torment me?! Why can't you be satisfied with flying?? Help! Someone! This is very confusing..."

– Chris, going on an acid trip.

"So I said, "They're not my radishes, You're the one with your left blinker on."

– Chris, having an intellectual conversation with a fire hydrant.


View the episode's transcript here!


View the episode's gallery here!


  • The first promo is a trailer for the series featuring a clip from this episode, notably it's the ONLY clip featured in the trailer. Uploaded on The Hub's YouTube channel on December 30, 2010.
  • The second promo, is an actual trailer that was released the week the episode was scheduled to premiere

    "The Ninja" Promo - Dan Vs.

    (uploaded on January 12, 2011).

    "Dan Vs." Promo -2