Dan Vs. Wiki
The Family Cruise
Season 3, Episode 12
You ready old man - the family cruise
Air date March 2, 2013
Written by Brian Turner and Garrett Frawley
Directed by James Krenzke
Episode guide
The Superhero
Summer Camp

The Family Cruise is the twelfth episode of the 3rd season and the fifty-second episode overall.

It originally aired on March 2, 2013.



When Dan gets unintentionally shanghaied on a family cruise with Elise and her parents, he does all he can to get off it. 



  • This was originally supposed to be the final episode aired, but "Summer Camp" ended up airing as the finale instead.
  • The episode was originally supposed to end on a cliffhanger and not the status quo ending it actually has.
  • Despite being a "family cruise", Ben is inexplicably absent in this episode.
  • The cruise ship is named the "S.S. Funtanic", which is likely a reference to the Titanic.
  • Chris reveals he ate the gingerbread house Elise has made last Christmas and blamed it on the mailman, but Elise was already aware of this.
  • This is the final episode to have "The Family..." to start its title.
  • Don claims he's an half-alien hybrid sent down on Earth to enslave man-kind, but in reality he just said that because he wanted to be included.
  • Dan's confession (only after being prompted) is that "it's possible" he's wasted his life on petty and ultimately meaningless quests for vengeance.
  • The end credits for this episode has a list of births and marriages during the production of Dan Vs.
  • It's implied at the end of this episode Dan tears off the duck tape, burns down Elise's house (by accident) then goes to the Zombie Apocalypse.


  • Elise Sr. and Elise Jr. reveal their secrets in this episode (though, only temporarily since everyone's memories were mostly wiped).
  • Elise confesses her true job to Chris.
  • Elise Sr. confesses that she's #5 on the FBI's most wanted list under the name "The Lady".
  • Mr. Mumbles is absent in this episode. However, she is mentioned by Chris and Dan.
  • It's revealed that Chris mentioned the cruise to Dan off-screen in the episodes "The DMV" and "The Mummy", but Dan does not recall it.
  • This episode marks the final appearances of Don and Elise Sr.
  • This episode is also the only time Don and Elise Sr. appear in the third season.