Dan Vs. Wiki
The Bank
Season 2, Episode 5
Dan Vs The Bank
Air date February 11, 2012
Written by Chris Pearson
Directed by Ashley Lenz
Episode guide
The Monster Under the Bed

"Ooh! We're gonna rob the bank!"

Dan, having his best idea yet.

"The Bank" is the fifth episode of the second season of Dan Vs. It is the twenty-seventh episode overall.

It premiered on February 11, 2012.


When the bank raises its ATM fees by fifty cents, Dan enlists Chris and Elise to pull off a heist to reclaim his fifty cents.



  • Tara Strong guest stars as the bank manager in this episode.
  • Dan's PIN is 5375, he mutters it under his breath when entering it in.
  • It's revealed that Dan's head can crack bulletproof glass, he rams his head against it inside the bank.
  • Dan mentions that he's working on a jetpack.
  • It's revealed Dan went commando in this episode, as his pants come flying off when he attempts to steal pens, he was charged with indecent exposure.
  • Dan references The Smurfs when Chris is hit with a blue dye pack.
  • When the LAPD officers arrive, they drive what resemble Ford Crown Victoria's, a very popular choice which is still used by many police departments including the LAPD.
  • Dan's demands to the cops include: A baby tiger, some chestnuts, a rocket-launcher, a fully fueled helicopter and a pilot, a seven inch turkey sub, the name of "Sunday" to legally be changed to "Danday" and free cable.
  • Dan willingly pays two dollars to take five dollars out of his bank, but gets angry when they charge an extra fifty cents.

Revelations and Continuity[]

  • Dan's not affected by tear-gas, it doesn't even give him a runny nose anymore, this was first revealed in "Baseball".
  • However, Dan can't stand the smell of a sewer and ended up needing to wear a mask while in it.
  • Elise nearly slips her true job to Dan while explaining what she was doing in the bank.
  • The Bank is in flames by the episode's end, for once this isn't directly Dan's fault.
  • This is one of the few episodes where Elise helps Dan out on his revenge quest, her reason is so that she can buy back a Superflu virus stolen from her organization.
  • As with every other episode, Chris is once more verbally abused by his 'friend', yet this is one of the few episodes where Chris for at least a little bit snaps and attacks Dan after being mocked!
  • This is one of the few times Elise gets mad at Chris after he spills coffee on her laptop!




  • The Bank
  • Chris and Elise's house


  • Squirt gun


"Ow! Stupid loansharking robot!"

– Dan, insulting the ATM machine.

"Wait, you've been paying two dollars to take out five? Willingly?"

"You have to spend money to make money, Chris."

"I'm not sure that expression applies here."

– Chris, questioning Dan.

"All right, you fee charging, stuffed-shirt, fat cat executive! Yeah! I'm talking to you! Oh, sure, mister big shot can do whatever he wants!"

"Dan, stop!"

"Inside that suit, you're just a small, sad man with no friends who has to beat up on the little guy just to feel good about himself! You're nothing but a pathetic, power-tripping loser!"

"That's not the bank manager."


(The man Dan was yelling at cries and runs out the bank)

"Yeah, that was just some guy waiting in line, and you made him cry!"

– Dan, berating an innocent bystander.

"I'll eat your children!!!"

"Dan, that's disgusting! And impractical."

– Dan, after being thrown out the bank.

"Oh, you have a better idea?"

"How about, 'Not eating their children'?"

"You have no vision. That vexes me!"

– Dan and Chris, coming up with a solution that doesn't resort to cannibalism.

"Ooh! We're gonna rob the bank!"

"That is one of the worst ideas you've ever had, and you've had some doozies."

"Name one, and don't say the jetpack because that's gonna be awesome!"

– Dan and Chris, peacefully coming to a solution.

"What if we use toy guns, would that make you more comfortable, you big baby?"

"Will the cops be using toy guns?"


– Dan and Chris, spitballing ideas.

"You just don't understand women, Chris. Obviously, Elise also has a bone to pick with the bank's stupid ATM fees."

– Dan, after Elise agrees to help him.

"Relax, we're in disguise."

"Yes, but we're in the SAME disguise!"

– Dan and Chris, bank robbery attempt no. 1

"This just proves my theory that the nudity taboos in this country are completely out of hand."

– Dan, after being arrested for indecent exposure.

"No one wants to come to your feelings party, clown."

– Dan, when Chris talks about his feelings regarding Elise's secret keeping.

"Nice move, Chuckles. Do you know what they do to clowns in prison?"

– Dan, after Chris accidentally sets off an alarm.

"You'll never take us alive, Coppers!!! ANY of us!!"

– Dan, stalling.



  • The first and only promo is a trailer released on The Hub's YouTube channel on February 6, 2012.
  • "Saturday, it's Dan Vs. The Bank! Those ATM fees can get pricey, but Dan takes it to the next level by enlisting Chris and Elise to pull off an after-hours heist in an effort to reclaim his two rightful quarters! Watch Saturdays 8P ET / 5P PT" - description

Dan Vs. The Bank (Promo)