Dan Vs. Wiki

"Stupid homeless animals..."

– Dan, complaining.

The Animal Shelter
Season 1, Episode 5
Dan vs the animal shelter
Air date January 22, 2011
Written by Dan Mandel and Chris Pearson
Directed by Bill Kopp
Episode guide
"The Ninja"

"The Animal Shelter" is the fifth episode of the first season of Dan Vs. It is the fifth episode overall. It premiered on January 22, 2011.


When an animal shelter keeps Dan up at night, he does whatever he can to get rid of it, but is delayed by other issues.  


After the howling and barking of the animals in an animal shelter across the street keeps Dan from sleeping comfortably, he dials the shelter and is greeted by Crunchy, the employee working at the shelter. Dan orders Crunchy to shut the animals up, and Crunchy says he'll try his best. After hanging up, Dan tries to sleep again but the barking persists, enraging Dan.

Main Plot[]

He dons a robe and slippers and walks to the shelter, confronting Crunchy. After being given complimentary earplugs, he returns home and tries to sleep a final time, but is once again unable to do so. Dan calls Chris, but is picked up by an answering machine. The next morning, Chris arrives at Dan's apartment, where Dan is baking a meatloaf. Dan complains about Chris leaving his phone off at night, and forces Chris to promise never to leave his phone off. Throughout their conversation Chris eats the meatloaf. Dan then explains that the animal shelter won't let him sleep, then tells Chris he plans to poison the animals. After Chris disagrees with killing abandoned animals, Dan then suggests killing the man at the counter, with which Chris states would be murder. Dan complains, saying he wasted his whole day making a poison meatloaf. Chris takes several more bites from the meatloaf, then pauses, realizing his mistake. Dan then takes Chris to the hospital.

Elise arrives at the hospital after Dan called her and they argue over why Chris got poisoned. Elise leaves the room to get some tea, and Dan uses the opportunity to sneak Chris out of the hospital. After dressing Chris and putting him in the trunk of his own car, Dan drives to Wally's Hardware Emporium and Explosives and purchases a large amount of dynamite on Chris's credit card. Dan then takes Chris to Burgerphile, where he purchases a milkshake for Chris and a meal for himself. While eating, Elise calls Chris's phone and Dan answers. Elise yells at Dan, demanding that he take Chris back to the hospital. Dan refuses and hangs up. By accident, Dan takes a sip of Chris's milkshake and immediately writhes in pain, due to his lactose intolerance. He hurries home to retrieve medicine, but discovers he ran out. As he goes to buy more, Elise arrives at his apartment, furious. She demands that he explain himself quickly. Dan says they got dynamite, then complained, saying not to jostle him. Elise procceeds to punch Dan in the stomach, causing him to fall to the floor in pain. Elise takes Chris away and Dan remains on his apartment floor, angered by the barking that continued but unable to move.

Several hours later, Dan lines the animal shelter with dynamite and sets a timer. Crunchy is unaware of what is going on because he was wearing headphones. As he begins to leave the shelter, a kitten catches his eye. After telling the cat to stop looking at him, he suddenly realizes that he loves the creature and decides to keep her. Dan named his cat "Mumbles", then changed her name to "Mr. Mumbles" shortly after. They begin to leave the shelter and Dan decides last minute to release the animals, saving them from the explosion. Dan and Mr. Mumbles watch the building explode, then return home. After sleeping for a few moments, gunshots startle both Dan and Mr. Mumbles, causing the cat to scratch up Dan's face. Dan becomes enraged over the new firing range built. The following day Dan goes to the hospital and meets a doctor that instructs Dan to remove his pants, worrying Dan. 


  • It's revealed that people without insurance get to see an actor dressed up as a doctor rather than a real doctor when visiting the hospital. (Dan goes to the hospital over cat scratches, and an actor in a doctor's outfit instructs him to take off his pants)
  • Dan buys 3,700 dollars worth of dynamite plus a 30% tip for the Wolf-Man with Chris' credit card. A 30% tip on $3,700 would be $1,110. In other words, Dan spent $4,810 in this episode.
  • Manfrangensen Animal Shelter has the typical cats and dogs... However, it is also harboring an elephant.
  • Chris' license expires on October 10, 2010, which is the day The Hub television channel launched.
  • The instrumental music played when Dan 'adopts' Mr. Mumbles sounds reminiscent of the song "Happy Together" by The Turtles.
  • When Wally remarks that Dan is buying a lot of dynamite, Dan replies "I've got some sploding' to do,ha ha". This is a reference to the series; I love Lucy, when Ricky would tell Lucy that she's "Got some Splaining' to do". Apparently Wally gets the reference and finds this very funny.

Revelations and Continuity[]

  • This episode marks the debut of Mr. Mumbles, Hortence and Crunchy.
  • Wally's Hardware Emporium and Explosives makes it's debut.
  • Dan reacts to Crunchy's name as if he knows him despite this episode being his first appearance in the series, which means Dan's possibly had encounters with him prior to the show.
  • Manfrangensen Animal Shelter was previously mentioned by Chris in "The Wolf-Man", this is its first (and only) major appearance in the series.
  • Dan didn't realize there was an animal shelter across the street until this episode, despite Chris mentioning it in "The Wolf-Man'. Chris mentions in this episode that it's been there since before Dan moved in and that it's a historic landmark.
  • It's revealed that Chris' last name is "Pearson" on his driver's license, just like his real-life counterpart.
  • According to his license, Chris lives on "9779 Ratface PL. Van Nuys, California 91567".
  • Crunchy's first job seen in the series is at the animal shelter.
  • Sure Shots Firing Range is opened in place of the animal shelter after Dan explodes it.
God dan it


  • Dan's soul patch briefly disappears as he is looking into an ambulance.

Deleted scenes[]

There are a few deleted scenes from this episode.

  • As Dan is walking back to his apartment with ear plugs on, he causes commotion in traffic. A car swerves to avoid Dan, but crashes into a cyclist, who is launched onto the sign on Dan's apartment. As Dan is walking in, he ignores the man as he screams about how much pain he's in.
  • In a slightly extended ending sequence, as Dan's doctor says he's not a doctor while putting on a glove, we get to see his full body. He is only wearing a white jacket and shoes. In addition, He also says "let's get those pants off!". In the next room, A man dressed in black holds Chris' hand and Elise says "Stop it, he's not even Catholic!', the man let's go of his hand only to go right back to holding it, Elise screams at him to stop.
  • In an extended sequence, after "Chris" asks Dan for milkshakes, instead of saying "let's go get you that milkshake" in the finished version of the episode, Dan tells Chris no and that they're on a mission, "Chris" then gets mad at Dan and tells him that he promised "you jerk!". Dan then slaps Chris for calling him a jerk, and immediately regrets it. He finally agrees to get Chris a milkshake. In the actual version of this episode, this entire sequence gets cut, and it's rather noticeable where the cuts are made when you watch it.




  • Dan's apartment
  • Manfrangensen Animal Shelter
  • St. Larry's Hospital
  • Wally's Hardware Emporium and Explosives (debut)
  • Burgerphile
  • Sure Shots Firing Range (debut)


  • Poisoned meatloaf (debut)
  • Dynamite
  • Chris' car


"Man I hate crickets, at least they're flammable."

– Dan, complaining about the animal shelter.

"I think kitties are pretty! I think puppies are nice!"

– Crunchy, singing a song.

"Stupid animal shelter... disturbing the peace. I bet it's even a no-kill shelter!"

– Dan, ranting about the shelter.

"How DARE you let your machine pick up?! You are scum! You're worthless, spineless, rotten to the core! That's it! We are no longer friends! I HATE you! We are DONE! If you ever try to speak to me again, I will literally STRANGLE you! ... Come over when you get this... It's Dan."

– Dan, leaving Chris a polite message.

"That's Chris' knock! Sounds like he clipped his nails this morning."

– Dan, noticing Chris' freshly trimmed finger toenails.

"Dan... Have I been poisoned? Dan!"

"Have you been eating my poisoned meatloaf?"

"Do you have more than one meatloaf?"

"Who has more than one meatloaf?!"

– Dan and Chris, after Chris daringly takes the poisoned meatloaf challenge for his YouTube channel.

"Chris isn't really 'with us' anymore... He's dead."


"Well, not dead, but poisoned."


"But the hospital thinks he has a broken arm."

"You're not making any sense!"

"Yes, I really should have planned out what I'd say before I called you."

"Is Chris okay?!"

"No! He's dead! I mean, no he's not.."

– Dan and Elise, Dan gracefully informs Elise about her husband's healthy.

"Thanks Dan, you're my best friend."

"I know."

"I...Love you.."

"Um... I feel... Somewhat warmly towards you, but, to be honest this conversation's making me uncomfortable.."

– Dan, pretending to have a conversation with an unconscious Chris.

"Do you wanna be my kitty?"


"N'aaaawww. I'm gonna call you 'Mumbles'."


"Let's go, Mr. Mumbles! Do you mind that I just changed your name to Mr. Mumbles?"

– Dan, naming Mr. Mumbles.


View the episode's transcript here!



  • The first and only promo is a trailer for the episode released on the same week the episode was scheduled to premiere. Uploaded on January 19, 2011 on The Hub's YouTube Channel.

    Dan Vs. - "The Animal Shelter"